


Bliss

by exhaustedxreader



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Crying, Depressing, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Men Crying, Sad, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, Teen Romance, Teen Wolf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24320950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhaustedxreader/pseuds/exhaustedxreader
Summary: You and Derek had been dating for a couple months, but with you busy at school and him keeping the town safe, there wasn’t much time to spend together. Being a former self-harmer, this didn’t help in the slightest.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Original Female Character(s), Derek Hale/Reader, Derek Hale/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning!!!!!!!!
> 
> Alcohol  
> Alcohol abuse  
> Self-harm  
> Near-death experience  
> Suicide attempt  
> Depression  
> Anorexia  
> Eating Disorder(s)  
> Hospitals
> 
> Please be safe and if you or anyone you know does anything Y/N does in this, please get help!!! My DM’s are always open if you want to talk!
> 
> You’re loved and appreciated!!!!!!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! <3

You’d finished - and failed - all your yearly exams today. Shuffling through the papers, you gritted your teeth at the laughable numbers. 

*Maths - 15%  
*English - 39%  
*History - 23%  
*Biology - 4%  
*Chemistry - 2%  
*French - 17%

You choked on a laugh, bile forcing itself into your mouth. Tears had been cascading down your cheeks since you’d snuck out the school building and drove home - speeding.  
Your stomach grumbled from the lack of nutrition for the past couple days - the amount of time since you’d last seen Derek. 

You felt numb. Empty. Alone. 

Walking down the stairs of your constantly empty house, since your parents had been on a “short vacation” to Britain. Short apparently meaning 4 years.  
Opening the fridge, a gust of cold, relaxing air hit your face. You almost moaned under the feeling. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey, you choked down a swig of the burning, golden liquid. And then another. And another.  
Until you were drunk and stumbling up the stairs, bottle still in hand, taking occasional sips. 

Numb. 

Empty.

Alone.

Falling into your relatively small bathroom, you barely knew what you were doing before your hand was reaching for the keys in your pocket. Pulling out the key ring, the jangling echoed throughout the room. You pushed the key into the bottom drawers’ keyhole and turned, the lock springing free. You pulled out one of the blades from your deconstructed razor and admired it for a second.  
Watching the shiny glint of the bloodstained metal against overly bright bathroom light. 

You took another, extremely necessary sip of the whiskey. Your throat burned as it made its way down your system, placing the bottle back down on the sink.

Numb.

Empty.

Alone.

You dragged the rusting razor across the already-marred skin of your left arm, from your elbow towards your wrist. Red gushed everywhere, your eyes faltering. Blackness seeming to swarm around you. Taunt you.

~~

“Hey Lydia, are you okay?” Stiles asked, never missing a beat at noticing something was wrong with her. “Hellooooooo~? Earth to Lydia?”  
Scott looked up, noticing her blank, shocked look. “Lydia?”  
A tear rolled down her cheek, her voice hoarse as she choked out, “When was the last time we saw [Y/N]?”  
“In the exam,” Scott supplied. “Why? Is she in trouble?” Scott and Stiles shared a wary look.  
Another tear streamed out her eye as she took a shuddering breath. And nodded. 

~~

Blood poured out of you, coating you and the cold tiled floor. The pain wasn’t instantaneous. It only came a few seconds after you had actually done it. 

And that’s when you realised the deadly mistake you had just made. 

Memories flashed across your vision. Derek. Hugging Derek. Kissing Derek. Late nights watching movies with Derek. Your best friend. Your boyfriend. Your mate.

~~

Scott, Stiles and Lydia rushed for the Jeep. They were about a half an hours drive away from your house. Twenty if they sped.  
Stiles drove as fast as he could, cursing the law-abiding citizens encircling him. 

“Do you think we should call the police?” Scott asked. “Or an ambulance, knowing her.”  
Lydia shook her head. “No, we’re much closer than they would be. And what if it’s supernatural?”  
The three of them hummed their agreement, tense worry filling the car. 

“Come to think of it,” Scott said softly, raising everyone’s attention again, “I haven’t actually seen her eating at school.”  
“Or ever,” Stiles agreed.  
Lydia let out a soft whimper. 

~~

Rifling through your pockets, you willed enough energy to fill you. Colour was leaving your face and skin. You knew you only had minutes left.  
Pulling out your phone, you pushed your finger into the home button, Siri greeting you. 

“What can I help you with?” The screen displayed.  
You rasped out a small, “Call Derek,” before a dialling tone rang. 

“Calling ‘Derek Hale’.”

The phone rang for a short while before Derek answered.  
“[Y/N]?” He waited a moment before repeating himself. ”Hello?”  
You attempted to speak but your throat was too sore and dry. 

Raising your bloody hands to the sink, you attempted to pull yourself up but only resulted in knocking the bottle of whiskey off the sink. A loud smash and the clattering of glass echoed throughout the room. 

Derek was practically screaming your name now. You could hear him running - fast. Like he was trying to outrun the wind itself. 

You could barely breathe - barely get enough oxygen into your lungs to stay alive - which you knew was a very, very bad sign. 

Derek was growling on the phone, taking loud, thunderous leaps to get to you. 

Your vision was blurry and you could see splotches of black invading your sight. 

“Oh, God,” you thought. “I’m not going to made it.”

~~

Your head was leaning against the side of the bath, floor pooling with blood.  
A slam into the front door could be heard, the hinges snapping straight off.  
Feet bound up the stairs. 

You could barely see a silhouette of a man in front of you before you passed out. 

~~

Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, you heard the irritating rhythmic bleeps of a heart monitor. Your head ached and your arm felt like it was on fire. You surveyed your being and concluded that you’d done something to wind up in the hospital.

“[Y/N]?” You heard a soft, loving voice toward your left.  
Whipping your head over to the left, your eyes filled with tears.  
“Der....rek...” you squeaked out, your dehydration not helping your sore throat. 

Derek softly wrapped his arms around you, a soft sniffle coming from him, your sobs rattling you. 

“I love you, [Y/N],” he said. “I always have and I always will.”  
“You....too...” you managed to say.  
“We can talk about this later,” he whispered. “Just promise you’ll never do something like this again.”  
“Pro...mise....” you said hoarsely.

Satisfied, he got off of you and passed you a glass of water which you sipped slowly on. As you did, you looked him up and down. His hair was disheveled; his shirt was filled with blood - yours, you assumed; his shoes had holes in them from him running so hard; and his eyes were red and puffy. 

After a couple more sips you weakly reached the water out to him, signalling that you wanted him to drink. He laughed through a sob, shaking his head.  
“You’re on your death bed and you’re still looking after everyone else,” he sniffled. You gave a weak smile and shrugged, shoving the glass into his hands. 

To your surprise, he actually had a long sip before setting the glass back down.

You shook as a face slammed against the door. Instantly calming as you noticed Stiles’ face squashed against the window of your room. 

“SHE’S AWAKE!!!!!!!!!!” Stiles announced loudly, barging into your room, Scott following in suit and Lydia shaking her head softly at the idiocy of men. 

You didn’t fail to notice Derek clenching his jaw at the group. You raised an eyebrow at him in silent question to which he just shook his head.

“[Y/N] what’ve you done to yourself? They said you cut open your arm! You were dehydrated and apparently haven’t eaten in days!!!!?” Stiles yelled.  
“Stiles-“ Lydia warned.  
Derek growled at him.  
“What do you think we would’ve done without you, huh?” Stiles sniffled, rushing to your right side. “We love you, idiot.” He cried into your shoulder, sobs racking his body. You rubbed soft circles into his back, smiling sadly at him.  
“I’m sorry,” you choked out, your eyes connecting with Derek’s.  
“I’m sorry too,” Lydia said. “I’m sorry that you felt like you had no one. It’s not you who should be apologising, it’s us.”  
Scott hummed his agreement. 

Melissa, Scott’s mother, walked in, a small wary smile gracing her face.  
“How are you feeling, [Y/N]?” she asked as she checked over your vitals.  
“Better,” you responded. “Thank you, all of you.”  
“Any pain?” Melissa asked, brushing it off with a wave.  
“I’m fine,” you lied, eyes sinking to the floor. 

You couldn’t bare shoving any more weight onto anyone else anymore.  
Derek and Scott shared a pointed look, both growling softly.  
“You’re a bad liar,” Scott told you as they both softly put their hands on yours, even through your weak pleas not to, they took your pain. 

Melissa shook her head at the the event happening before her.  
“I will never understand you guys,” she muttered, walking out the room. 

~~

Later, after Stiles finished his breakdown, Lydia drove Scott and Stiles home, giving you and Derek some space with the promise of “We’ll see you at school.”

You were released from hospital later that day. Legally, you now had to be within the same room as another person at all times, which didn’t really matter since Derek wasn’t letting you out of his sight any time soon.  
He even followed you in school, telling any teachers that you legally had to be under his supervision. 

“This is stupid!” you exclaimed when he told you. “I‘ll be in the room with a teacher....and 20-something other students!!!”  
“And me,” Derek said sternly, pressing a kiss to your neck.  
You rolled your eyes. “At least I get to show off my hot werewolf boyfriend at school,” you teased, licking the identical spot on his neck, smiling at the slight wetness on his neck.

Derek snorted and ruffled your hair, “Go to sleep, [Y/N].”  
“Come sleep with me,” you invited with a wink. 

Derek, without missing a beat, picked you up in bridal style, and using his one legs, pushed the blanket off the bed and lay you down, snuggling up next to you, pulling the blanket back over the two of you. 

“I love you, Derek,” you said through a yawn, huddling your head into his chest - his warmth.  
“I love you too, [Y/N].” 

And you both fell asleep in pure **bliss.**

**Author's Note:**

> If it’s requested, I will write a sequel (or even prequel) to this, just comment and let me know! This is my first fanfic so don’t be too harsh, please!! Comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> If you have any requests, let me know in the comments. I’m more than happy to write stuff for you guys!
> 
> i’m on wattpad btw <3  
> its @exhaustedxreader if you wanna message me or anything


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